Tuesday, April 27, 2010


You didn't think I'd forget about the ol' NBA Jam thing, didja?


Well I didjin't, err, didn't.

Now, as if there was any doubt as to our MotH. 8 innings. No runs. Four hits vs Ten - TEN - Strikeouts. And nothing but complete and total domination as we dropped an F-bomb on them Motor City Kitties:

Why yes, it's a pitching performance so awesome it deserves not one, but TWO photochoppings.

Does anyone else remember 2006?

Isn't it a great day to be a Twins Fan?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I'm not in the mood to be funny today.

Boys, boys, boys...when you load the bases yet don't score a friggin' run in both the 8th and 9th innings against the Royals - the ROYALS - I don't know what to say.

Except, no brooms. Again.

All I can say is, we won the series. We're in first place. We have a three game series coming up in Detroit, the team we beat in the one game playoff last season, with F-Bomb Liriano on the mound in game one.

Well, when you put it that way, Scott, you actaully make me pretty damn happy, gut-wrenching loss be damned.

I just hope J.J. Hardy can solve "The Case of the Missing Broom" before too long.

Isn't it a great day to be a Twins Fan, everybody?

Sometimes, it's not HOW many hits you have in a game...

...but WHEN you get them.

Man. Deep, I am not.

What a wacky, wild, strange, unruly, bizarre, and loooooong game.

I'm not happy it ended on a disputed call, either. Because that usually means the losing team is pissed off and is gonna come back with a vengence the next time out.

But anyway, the MotH is easy - Denard Span singled in the winning run in the 12th inning. And what does he get for his effort? This.

I'm sorry, Denard. But it's late, I'm tired, and I can't help but use an old Yearbook Photo on this blog when I find one.

Damn, I should have photoshopped a little Alligator on that shirt.

Next time, Denard...next time.

Friday, April 23, 2010

When your team needs to bounce back from an awful loss...

...try Kansas City Royals! Relief for an offensive shutdown since 1999 (except for the 2004. Or was it 2003? I'm to lazy to look it up).

Well, Pavano was, by all accounts, On Point throughout the game. And two earned runs through seven innings (off of four hits, no walks, and five K's) is a solid line. Solid enough to be the MotH? Why the hell not?

Why yes, Carl. It IS Hammertime!

Speaking of hammering things, Jim Thome hammered that ball in the 5th inning a long ways. He also drove in two runs on a ninth inning double, for a total of 3 RBI. Co-MotH honors? You betcha red rider!

Yes, it's a "Jim Thomer Hanky." Yes, I realise it's a horrible pun. No, I don't care.

Well, we can get our fifth series win tomorrow. So let's get our fifth series win tomorrow, and remember, kids - don't drink and try to come up with a nickname for Jim Thome on your Twin's blog.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Sweep? What is this "sweep" youspeak of?

Man, that was stanky. S-T-A-N-K-Y. Like, St. Anky Beer stanky. Like, my socks after ten hours of hustling pancakes stanky.

Plain ol' stanky.

Super Sleuth J.J. Hardy is taking the day off; there is no mystery here. That stanky smell is eminating from the Twin's ass-bats (ass-bats are like at bats, except they suck, produce no offense, and are 100%, pure as mother's milk, USDA choice stanky).

But, on the flip side, we won the series. Again. Which makes 5 in a row. And a 11-5 record that isn't at all stanky.

But this game? Man, that stank is stanky.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Anyone remember that super-awesome game "NBA JAM?"

I do. In fact, I play it on my SNES emulator once in awhile.

"But Angryscott," you might be asking, "What does an old-school video game have to do with a Twins Baseball Blog?"

Well, gentle readers, it goes a little something like this:

If your player made three shots in a row (with no baskets by the opposing team), you were "On Fire." You're basketball would literally leave a trail of smoke and flame behind it. It was awesome.

After the second uncontested basket, you're player was merely "heating up" en route to being on fire. The ball wouldn't be aflame, but it would smoulder and give off puffs of smoke.

Which brings me to my point:

He's heating up.

8 shut-out innings? That, m'boy, gives you you're second straight MotH (second straight meaning his last two consecutive starts). One more, and you'll be on fire.

Well, not literally. Figuratively.

Anyway, you were a sight to behold. And like Glen did last night, you gave our bullpen some good rest.

As for you, Jesse Crain? I'm quite alright with you giving up a hit in the ninth, because that hit didn't turn into a run. Good show, sir. Keep it up too.

And the boys were 3-4 with RisP last night. Good. I was afraid I was going to have to do a photo mash-up of the guys running away from some Rice RispY cereal or something.

Which I might go do now anyways, since that sounds fun and silly.

Anyhow, that's a sixth straight series win for us. If Baker stays true to form, we might be able to pull out them brooms tomorrow afternoon.

It's a good day to be a Twins fan!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Why yes Ms. Juniper, it is easy as I make it look...

Said our Man of the Hour, with a sly smile, in between sips of Sweet Tea.

Yeah...about that. No, no it's not, Kevin. It's NOT easy to throw eight innings of five hit, one-run ball. Ever. In fact, it's pretty damn hard. Not very many people can do it.

You did, though, so you are our MotH:

With Pat "Wonky-Robot-Sidearm WAITHE'SGONNATHROWOVERHAND nope he's throwing submarine" Neshek's cyborg implant in for servicing, you need to rest the bullpen. You did just that. And it was awesome.

Well, tomorrow we can win our 5th series in a row. That would be stellar. So, you know...umm...let's do just that.

Oh, and Kevin - easy on the sweet tea. We don't need another Mijares on the pitching staff.