How do you go Oh-fer-a Zillion with RISP and still win?

You DON'T. For the love of the game, IT'S INFREAKIN' POSSIBLE!

Matt, buddy, awesome game. Too bad your teammates don't realize that a pitcher with no run support is like a pirate with no treasure. You still rocked though, Mr GaRRRza. I can't believe you're one-and-three. Call Bradke, see how he dealt with it.

To those of you who got on base, stole second, drew walks, way to go. But it's all meaningless unless someone drives you across the plate. And no one did. And I bet you're even more frustrated than I am.

Smell 'em? Smell 'em? The only thing I smelled tonight was ass-bats and missed opportunities galore.

Dammit anyway.

Bam! Boom! Whoosh!

Nineteen hits + Eleven Runs + every starter got a hit (LNP got a DOUBLE! He hit the ball about...a hundred and twenty times his height!) + We gots teh win = 3, yes THREE MotH.

3 hits, a two run homer, and 3 RBI for both these guys:


And four-for-five with a RBI for this gentleman:

Why yes, I agree! A great day for golfing! AND Baseball!

So, how do you follow up an eight inning one run gem?

Why, with an eight inning, NO run gem.

Complete with Lego-Vision worthy dive for a bunt into a double play (hint hint, Anne!)

So anyway, yeah: Your second consecutive start = your second consecutive MotH. Booyah!



Of course, I can't forget Castilla who drove in the winning - and only (*cough* o'fer'12 CMH *cough*) - run tonight. So, lemme pause this post and go whip something up (NOTE: you will not be subjected to an actual pause, only a simulated pause, as witnessed by the dots below)

.............



Yeah, yeah. Too obvious. Whatever.

4.5 out, bitches!

Welcome Back...

Saturday, August 8:



Two things stand out to me, looking at this mock-up.

One, I really shouldv'e photochopped some head-phones onto Cuddy back in the day.

Two, Denny's head is HUGE. I don't mean in the picture, either - I mean his noggin is ENORMOUS. That image? Scaled down. I bet that lil' extra weight around his mid-section is just to keep the extra weight up top from adding unwanted movement to his pitches.

But back on topic - driving in two runs, the second the game winner? Hellz yeah Mike's the MotH.

Special mention to our bullpen (crainially endowed or not) for keeping the Racially Insensitive from crossing home plate.

And Garza - 93 pitches in four innings? You'd better wash their feet with your tears of gratitude, young fella.

P.S. - You still deserve better than 1-2 on the year.

P.P.S. - You also pitched out of some hella-jams there, so I guess you can just wash their feet with tap water.

5.5 out, bitches!

MotH for July 31...

All around a good game. Good starting pitching, good hitting, good capitalization on the opponents mistakes, and GREAT defense.

Especially the back-up catcher that threw out three stolen base attempts.

So, Mike Redmond, Mr. Naked Batting Practice, you get your third MotH. And pants.

Hammerpants!



Oh, and Tweek? Thanks for the spasms there to start the ninth. Buttface.



At least you got the next three batters in a row and the save.

Sadness...

No more of this man:



Sigh. I really have nothing else to say.

Damn, pt. 2

Another NON wasted dominant performance by a young pitcher. Joe, you so totally rule for the 3 RBI, but this HAS to go to young Scotty, partially because of his other well-pitched games in which youz guyz didn't give him any run support.

Heh. Heh. Support (you bat-girl fans will get the joke).

Anyway, back to Ba(sics)ker: 8 innings, two hits, one run, one batter over the minimum, and NO WALKS! And Tweek Nathan with a one-two-three for the save.

So enjoy the MotH, Scott Baker: